Live as Loved

Out of the blue I found myself in the Song of Songs. Solomon wrote thousands of poems and songs, but this is the only one worthy of inclusion in the inspired word of God. I've often disregarded this book, but what a gem I've found.

I'm reading it in Jon Courson's KJV Bible commentary. I love it because he explains often verse by verse (sometimes word by word) what the King James Bible is saying. In his opening commentary he discusses the many ways this book is interpreted: as an erotic love poem, a marriage manual, God's love for the Jews and lastly, Jesus' love for His Church.

All of this information is interesting, fascinating and helps one understand the verses contextually. But as I read this book, I see it as something much more personal, as if it were written just for me. Sound crazy? Maybe. But it is stirring something in my soul and the only way I can describe it is: I am beginning to see how I can live as someone who is loved.

You know when you first meet or met the person you fell in love with...how it felt. When I met my husband, I felt as if I could do anything. I also felt special and it affected the way I acted...the way I was. Our love is still going after 10 years, but I realize that I have a tendency to know in my head I am loved, but not to act like it. The love feelings are not as prevalent, but the love actions remain...in spite of our shortcomings. Praise God for that. But I no longer hear his words through the filter of just love. Some days I hear them through the filter of my day...the diapers, the cooking, the demands of being a Wife, Mother, and Self-centered individual. I don't forget that he loves me, I just don't think about it. It is but one filter through which I view my day. So...what has this got to do with the Song of Songs.

In Chapter 1 verse 5 the maiden says "I am black". Her skin color was black for working in the sun, and her soul was black in comparison to her King. Blackness speaks of darkness...which is symbolic and not my personal commentary on anyone's outward appearance or worth. But in the time this was penned it was a negative physical attribute in this culture. The blackness of soul or a clear picture of one's shortcomings is most identifiable when compared to something or someone we see as better than ourselves...or when we are in the presence of those we love and forget to act in that love, and all we hear is the whine tainted speech that is breaking forth from our lips. We may not say it, but we surely think it..."I am bad, ugly, unkind, no good, awful, selfish etc..." Basically, we are aware of how bad we really are often followed by the thought, how do they put up with me? This line of thinking also reduces our capacity to accept their love because we do not feel worthy. And this is just what the enemy of our souls wants us to think.

Before I knew Jesus, every time I encountered someone who really loved and walked with Him, I was very much aware of the mess I was. I really felt like I'd seen, said and done too much for God to love me. It wasn't until my life bottomed out and pride and self sufficiency were gone that I was able to offer my life to Him and trust that He'd take it. And He did. The moment I asked Him to forgive me, He already had. He loved me while I was still in my pile of rubble of a life. How do I know, because in Romans 5:8 it says "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." and In 1 John 14:19 it says "We love him, because he first loved us."

As black as I was, as black as I am, as black as I'll be tomorrow, Jesus loves me. How do I know? For the Bible tells me so! And when I view myself through the filter of His love, I live differently. I love differently. I began to apply this to how I parent my children. I must show them my love for them so they can see how precious they are. That they are loved by me...but more so that they are love by Jesus...the unchanging, unfailing, undisappointable God. He loves me, period. He loves them, period. He loves you, period. Are you living as someone loved by Him? I started yesterday...and again today! Come with me. Come thirsty. Come dirty and black. Just come.