Grace for the Race

Two years ago, I was determined to “qualify” for the Boston Marathon. I trained hard and ran myself into the ground. At one point I ended up completely broke and could not run a step. It was then God showed me a truth that He just recently expanded upon. The truth was that I wanted to qualify for Boston because that is what real runners did. I was looking for a “BQ” to be acceptable among men and God showed me this through the story of Jacob wrestling in the desert with the preincarnate Jesus in Genesis Chapter 32. All Jacob’s life he had been looking for blessing from others and he used all means available to him to do so, including deceit. In the end, with nowhere else to run, his family on one side of the river and his scorned brother coming on the other, he was between a rock and a hard place. All night he wrestled with God and in the end when he failed to stop trying to earn victory, the Lord touched his hip and humbled him. At that point he realized that the blessing he desired always was from the Lord Himself. It wasn't until Jacob accepted defeat that he found victory. And God changed His name from Jacob (meaning heal snatcher) to Israel (meaning governed by God). I laughed when I learned the source of my injury was in my hip socket. And then I too told the Lord I would not let go until He blessed me.

The next two years I started running with a new heart. My new friend, soon to be my closest friend, decided she wanted to start running marathons with me. Our long runs turned into 2 and 3 hour long discussions about what God was showing us through our kids, our studies and our lives. We didn’t always run fast, but we had fun doing it. And I just didn’t take my finish times seriously anymore. Well, I wish that were totally true. I still hated any finish over 4 hours, but even those had a sweetness about them because of our friendship and how God chose to reveal Himself to me during each run.

Last fall my friend went to a retreat for the weekend, and since we had three family birthdays that weekend, I stayed back and decided to do the Portland Marathon for a training run. I showed up that morning expecting a 4:15 finish and ended up missing my Boston Time by 2 minutes…and it was easy. But the crazy thing about that day was that I felt the Lord’s presence with me the whole run and it was just like we were hanging out with my friend. I was joyful in having experienced that kind of fellowship with God...as if in the absence of my friend, He was there. I also knew at that point that I really did possess the ability to qualify for Boston without so much striving. Fast forward to this May.

My friend and I hemmed and hawed about what marathon to do this spring/summer and at the last minute decided to go down and run Eugene again. We weren’t taking it too seriously as we really hadn’t trained all that hard, so we were just there for a good time. About mile 7 we’d been following the 3:45 pacer for about two miles and it felt good. I remarked to my friend that we could do it. She said, “You can, but I’m not.” At that point I decided that I wanted to try. The miles ticked off and before I knew it, I was at mile 21, still on pace and feeling great. My legs were a little fatigued so I slammed a Gu and kept the pacer in my sight. Somewhere along the way, I decided that nothing short of a stress fracture could make me slow down. I started to think about one of my favorite running scriptures Hebrews 12:1-2: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I kept my eyes focused on the pacer as if he were Jesus…if he only knew what was going on in my mind. I ran up next to him and told him that he was my goal. He encouraged me to just stick with him and I’d make it. I liked that. Then my adrenaline kicked in and I started to pull ahead and it was as if the Lord spoke and said “That’s so like you, always in a hurry.” I decided that a better place was next to Jesus, not running ahead…I’ve learned that plenty in my life. But then, someone cut me off. We were at mile 24 and suddenly the weary runners who had been running faster the first half of the marathon saw the pacer and found new life…and in doing so they crowded around him. So I fell behind about 10 feet or so but I was determined to keep him in my sight. As long as I kept my eyes fixed on him, I became less aware of the growing fatigue in my legs. I didn’t mind being behind and alone as long as I could see him. When we rounded the corner and came in sight of the finish line, the pacer looked back, saw me and came back and ran me in saying “You’re finishing strong, you got it.” If he only knew what those word meant to me. My mind went far ahead in the future…to the end of this race called life. How I long to hear Jesus come along side of me to say to me “You’re finishing strong" and then "Well done my good and faithful servant.”

Here I was in the moment I'd wanted for so long and guess what? As I crossed the finish line I did not hear the sound of trumpets calling out my victory. There were only cheers for those finishing behind me and gasps of those around me in pain. And suddenly I became overwhelmed with the presence of Jesus and I began to cry and I prayed “Lord, nothing compares to following You.” And then I understood that real blessings really do come from God.

Two years before, a BQ would have meant I was going to Boston and I would receive the praise and accolades of men...or at least in my head because I'd met a standard I felt was important to my self worth. But that beautiful day in May, it meant I’d broken the 3:45 mark in a marathon and it was not in and of my own strength, but by the grace of God. He gave me two legs, seemingly boundless energy and determination because I was in the center of His will for my life.

And this is the grace of God:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:1-10