In light of my last post, I find what I am going to write here now simply profound. My grandpa was in a car crash yesterday and he died this morning. He was 92 years old and living on borrowed time, but what hurts is the abruptness of his passing and the fact that just yesterday I was thinking how I hadn't talked to him in a few weeks and needed to call him. And today as I was running and thinking of how much I miss him already, I thought "I just want to say I love you to him one last time." That took my breath away...literally I began hyperventilating and had to stop.
The other interesting thing about today is that I was supposed to be running in a group at 6am and I missed it. I woke up feeling sick and also sensing that God needed me alone. And then it hit me, just like I always do, I say "see you tomorrow" as if I have control of my life that I can guarantee my presence. And I can't.
In James chapter 4:14-17 it says: Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are {just} a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, {you ought} to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows {the} right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.
The Greek word for arrogance is alazoneia which means specifically: an insolent and empty assurance, which trusts in its own power and resources and shamefully despises and violates divine laws and human rights; an impious and empty presumption which trusts in the stability of earthy things.
So for the Christian that trusts that God is the Author and Sustainer of life, for us to presume that we have one bit of control over our lives or that we can guarantee our presence anywhere or anytime is ARROGANT. That was very surprising and humbling to me...and I didn't realize that my personal discomfort with saying "Lord Willing" had less to do with sounding like a presumptuous Christian and more to do with an arrogant sense of pride. And I do know that pride is what it is...because I'm not one to make plans and not show up...to the point of being or doing what I said amidst the chaos of the things I tossed out of my way to get there. It isn't pretty. Pride rarely is. And it certainly thinks of little but itself...or in my case, myself.
The verse that really drives this home for me is the last one: THEREFORE, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin. Yup, that's just one more sin the Lord is showing me that it is now time for me to get rid of. He has shown me in so many ways in the last two weeks. I think He was preparing me for my Grandpa's death...and teaching me an important life lesson in the process. Thank you Jesus for your light that outshines all the darkness in my life.
So I'm undergoing a change in attitude toward the things that I plan. To pray first and submit myself to the authority of my King and the "Lord willing" will be as natural as the "I will". Yes, the first part has been missing too.
And finally, I understand why the Lord showed me these verses but did not make them easy for me to share here sooner. He showed me this in James Chapter 1:23-25 this morning:
But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. (NASB)
Written in honor of my Grandpa H. who always loved me and never judged me and always made me feel special. I love you Grandpa.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Brevity of Life
Seriously...where does time go? Can it really be that I haven't posted anything since MAY 26th! OK, so part of that is because it is summer and school is out and I'm just a wee bit busier than usual. I am also studying three different things and just when I think I'm ready to share something, I get sidetracked and then I find something new and it starts to weave into where I left off and then I'm off in another direction and the picture gets bigger and I don't know where to begin.
And then...a note from a friend. A friend from college died. How can that be? She was the same age as me. I'm not even 40. She thought she had the flu and then 2 days later she was gone. I can still see her curly hair, engaging smile and hear her hearty laugh in my head. Oh, the brevity and unpredictability of life.
In James Chapter 4:13-15 it says: Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."
This is one of the passages I've been studying and what I would have shared two days ago would have been different than what I am sharing today. For two days ago, I was thinking more along the lines of getting sick or my car breaking down preventing me from going to a friend's house our running in a race. In fact, recently I came down with a fever the night before a half marathon and ran it anyway...which in turn made my illness last almost 3 weeks. But I had prayed about it the night before and I know God had me in that race for a couple of reasons I could share...but that was the old lesson from these verses.
The lesson for me today is this...life is unpredictable and entirely in God's hands. Not just the little things, because I've actually become pretty comfortable with knowing He works ALL things for my good according to His will and purpose for my life (Romans 8:28). I've come to enjoy the "Godoinces" and Divine interruptions that occur daily in my life. But perhaps I need to be reminded DAILY of the brevity of life. Perhaps then I wouldn't be as quick to brush off those little moments with my husband and my kids that seem so little but mean so much. I would not put off the call to that friend. I should not hesitate to share that word of encouragement or give that hug. Do you see the key here? To remove the would and the should and insert the "am" or present active participle of the verb and live in the present and not the future...because I do not know what tomorrow holds for me here. And although I know that when this life is over that I will be in the presence of my King for eternity, I don't want to miss out on one thing the Lord might have for me to do here today.
Is there something that you've been putting off to do later that you would regret not doing if you knew that tomorrow you might not be here to do it?
Lord willing, I will have time to share more of what the Lord has been showing me in His Word on this blog this summer...in between playing with my kids and enjoying the sun that is.
And then...a note from a friend. A friend from college died. How can that be? She was the same age as me. I'm not even 40. She thought she had the flu and then 2 days later she was gone. I can still see her curly hair, engaging smile and hear her hearty laugh in my head. Oh, the brevity and unpredictability of life.
In James Chapter 4:13-15 it says: Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."
This is one of the passages I've been studying and what I would have shared two days ago would have been different than what I am sharing today. For two days ago, I was thinking more along the lines of getting sick or my car breaking down preventing me from going to a friend's house our running in a race. In fact, recently I came down with a fever the night before a half marathon and ran it anyway...which in turn made my illness last almost 3 weeks. But I had prayed about it the night before and I know God had me in that race for a couple of reasons I could share...but that was the old lesson from these verses.
The lesson for me today is this...life is unpredictable and entirely in God's hands. Not just the little things, because I've actually become pretty comfortable with knowing He works ALL things for my good according to His will and purpose for my life (Romans 8:28). I've come to enjoy the "Godoinces" and Divine interruptions that occur daily in my life. But perhaps I need to be reminded DAILY of the brevity of life. Perhaps then I wouldn't be as quick to brush off those little moments with my husband and my kids that seem so little but mean so much. I would not put off the call to that friend. I should not hesitate to share that word of encouragement or give that hug. Do you see the key here? To remove the would and the should and insert the "am" or present active participle of the verb and live in the present and not the future...because I do not know what tomorrow holds for me here. And although I know that when this life is over that I will be in the presence of my King for eternity, I don't want to miss out on one thing the Lord might have for me to do here today.
Is there something that you've been putting off to do later that you would regret not doing if you knew that tomorrow you might not be here to do it?
Lord willing, I will have time to share more of what the Lord has been showing me in His Word on this blog this summer...in between playing with my kids and enjoying the sun that is.
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