In Memorial

Memorial Day is the day American's set aside their work to remember and honor those who have given their lives so that we might enjoy our freedom. I am deeply indebted to all the men and women that have served, do serve and will serve this country to maintain that freedom. But there is one freedom that no man can give you. Unless He is more than a man.

In John 15:13 Jesus said: Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. He was speaking in advance of His love for all men regardless of geography or time and what He would ultimately do for us. Whether or not you perceive Him, He is extending His nail pierced hand in friendship towards you even today.

Paul the apostle said in Romans 5:7-8: "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

That is what I remember most on Memorial Day...that Jesus died to set me free from my sin and this body of death and to provide the way to eternal life with Him in Heaven when this one is over. Some might say that I am forcing my beliefs into the Holiday, but then they don't know my story...even if you don't, it still applies.

Ten years ago, on Memorial Day Weekend, I accepted Christ's death as payment for my sins and became a Christian. I was in the midst of a battle to save a failing marriage and I was reading a book that reminded me of the Gospel message shared with me a month before. In a nutshell it said that before the author could save his marriage, he had to get right with God. As if led by an invisible force, God took me to the epicenter of my pain and showed me the truth of just how far my marriage had fallen. It was in that moment, sitting on my knees surrounded by the rubble of the life I'd built on my own that I gave my heart wholly to Jesus Christ. I ended my prayer with: "Lord, this is my life without you and it is a real mess. I want to see what you can do."

Can I tell you how WONDERFULLY He has answered that prayer. My life is but a shadow of what it used to be and it is glorious...if only just to me. And I've seen Him do the same in so many other lives. He makes beauty out of the ashes of our best efforts at success on our own. He has brought such joy to my life through people, places and experiences; but mostly, through the knowledge of Him through His Word. This is why I'm always writing about Him.

The Gospel message I responded to was presented to me by a Police Chaplain through a simple Bible tract. He walked me through what is called the Romans Road to salvation. It is a list of verses from the book of Romans that clearly shows us how we can be "saved" by giving our lives to Christ through a simple prayer. Here is the road if you'd like to follow it for the first time, visit it again or just simply thank God for such a simply profound and profoundly simple "one way" message to reconciliation with Him.

Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."

Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 10:9, "...if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that
God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

Romans 10:13, "for everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Romans 8:1 "...there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

At this point most Gospel tracts would provide you with a prayer you can pray out loud to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. While tracts are helpful, God isn't in to scripts. He is into sincerity. If you have something to say to Him and you are ready to acknowledge His sovereignty in your life and what Christ did for you on the cross, then tell Him in your own words. He'll meet you where you're at, fill you with His Holy Spirit and equip you for a life of freedom from the bondage of sin. It doesn't mean you'll be perfect, but you'll be perfectly forgiven. And in forgiveness there is much freedom!

I long for a day when there is no more need for military presence anywhere and when all men can live in peace. That day will come, but only when Jesus returns to Earth to rule and reign. Until then, I thank the men and women who protect my right to freedom and I honor my God who gives them the power to do so. And I will never forget the price Jesus paid for my sins.

Grace for the Race

Two years ago, I was determined to “qualify” for the Boston Marathon. I trained hard and ran myself into the ground. At one point I ended up completely broke and could not run a step. It was then God showed me a truth that He just recently expanded upon. The truth was that I wanted to qualify for Boston because that is what real runners did. I was looking for a “BQ” to be acceptable among men and God showed me this through the story of Jacob wrestling in the desert with the preincarnate Jesus in Genesis Chapter 32. All Jacob’s life he had been looking for blessing from others and he used all means available to him to do so, including deceit. In the end, with nowhere else to run, his family on one side of the river and his scorned brother coming on the other, he was between a rock and a hard place. All night he wrestled with God and in the end when he failed to stop trying to earn victory, the Lord touched his hip and humbled him. At that point he realized that the blessing he desired always was from the Lord Himself. It wasn't until Jacob accepted defeat that he found victory. And God changed His name from Jacob (meaning heal snatcher) to Israel (meaning governed by God). I laughed when I learned the source of my injury was in my hip socket. And then I too told the Lord I would not let go until He blessed me.

The next two years I started running with a new heart. My new friend, soon to be my closest friend, decided she wanted to start running marathons with me. Our long runs turned into 2 and 3 hour long discussions about what God was showing us through our kids, our studies and our lives. We didn’t always run fast, but we had fun doing it. And I just didn’t take my finish times seriously anymore. Well, I wish that were totally true. I still hated any finish over 4 hours, but even those had a sweetness about them because of our friendship and how God chose to reveal Himself to me during each run.

Last fall my friend went to a retreat for the weekend, and since we had three family birthdays that weekend, I stayed back and decided to do the Portland Marathon for a training run. I showed up that morning expecting a 4:15 finish and ended up missing my Boston Time by 2 minutes…and it was easy. But the crazy thing about that day was that I felt the Lord’s presence with me the whole run and it was just like we were hanging out with my friend. I was joyful in having experienced that kind of fellowship with God...as if in the absence of my friend, He was there. I also knew at that point that I really did possess the ability to qualify for Boston without so much striving. Fast forward to this May.

My friend and I hemmed and hawed about what marathon to do this spring/summer and at the last minute decided to go down and run Eugene again. We weren’t taking it too seriously as we really hadn’t trained all that hard, so we were just there for a good time. About mile 7 we’d been following the 3:45 pacer for about two miles and it felt good. I remarked to my friend that we could do it. She said, “You can, but I’m not.” At that point I decided that I wanted to try. The miles ticked off and before I knew it, I was at mile 21, still on pace and feeling great. My legs were a little fatigued so I slammed a Gu and kept the pacer in my sight. Somewhere along the way, I decided that nothing short of a stress fracture could make me slow down. I started to think about one of my favorite running scriptures Hebrews 12:1-2: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I kept my eyes focused on the pacer as if he were Jesus…if he only knew what was going on in my mind. I ran up next to him and told him that he was my goal. He encouraged me to just stick with him and I’d make it. I liked that. Then my adrenaline kicked in and I started to pull ahead and it was as if the Lord spoke and said “That’s so like you, always in a hurry.” I decided that a better place was next to Jesus, not running ahead…I’ve learned that plenty in my life. But then, someone cut me off. We were at mile 24 and suddenly the weary runners who had been running faster the first half of the marathon saw the pacer and found new life…and in doing so they crowded around him. So I fell behind about 10 feet or so but I was determined to keep him in my sight. As long as I kept my eyes fixed on him, I became less aware of the growing fatigue in my legs. I didn’t mind being behind and alone as long as I could see him. When we rounded the corner and came in sight of the finish line, the pacer looked back, saw me and came back and ran me in saying “You’re finishing strong, you got it.” If he only knew what those word meant to me. My mind went far ahead in the future…to the end of this race called life. How I long to hear Jesus come along side of me to say to me “You’re finishing strong" and then "Well done my good and faithful servant.”

Here I was in the moment I'd wanted for so long and guess what? As I crossed the finish line I did not hear the sound of trumpets calling out my victory. There were only cheers for those finishing behind me and gasps of those around me in pain. And suddenly I became overwhelmed with the presence of Jesus and I began to cry and I prayed “Lord, nothing compares to following You.” And then I understood that real blessings really do come from God.

Two years before, a BQ would have meant I was going to Boston and I would receive the praise and accolades of men...or at least in my head because I'd met a standard I felt was important to my self worth. But that beautiful day in May, it meant I’d broken the 3:45 mark in a marathon and it was not in and of my own strength, but by the grace of God. He gave me two legs, seemingly boundless energy and determination because I was in the center of His will for my life.

And this is the grace of God:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:1-10

Sacrificial Love

On Sunday at church, our pastor was talking about the qualities of a mother and we used Proverbs 31 as our springboard. The first quality he spoke of was that a mother's love is sacrificial...she lays down her own life for her children. At that moment I was filled with an overwhelming love and longing to thank my daugther's birthmom...to hold her and to fill her void.

As adoptive parents of children who were abandoned in a foreign country, we are told that we are not supposed to "glorify" or make up our baby's birth mother's stories or feelings. Why not? Honestly, I read it last year and all I know is that it was based on some worldly, intellectual, psycho babble reason that didn't make sense to me then and doesn't make sense to me now. The longer I walk with the Lord and spend time in His Word, I am more skeptical of the world's expert's on truth. Those experts don't know my God and my God has a way of telling me things of the heart within the realm of possibility as well as fact. So, with that said, I want to share the truth I know in my heart and this resonates as such deep within my soul.

I am certain with all that is within me, that Z's mom sacrificed part of her very soul when she left her in a box with a bottle and a sweet little outfit adorned with little hand sewn flowers at about three weeks old. Whatever cultural pressures, financial hardships or societal reasons in place that forced her she to abandon my girl are not big enough to numb the loss of this child. To know Z is to feel how much she was and is loved. She is beautiful in every way. She is quick to laugh, giggle and smile. She is a smile. Everyday is a great day to be her. She is pure joy. And from my experience, pure joy comes from great sacrifice. Her birth mother, for whatever reason, purposed to give her life...twice.

In Hebrews 12:2 it says: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. This verse is describing how Jesus gave His life up so that we might have life. He was the perfect sacrifice for a sinful world and He did this for the joy set before Him. What was the joy? Reconciliation of the whole World to Him and relationship here and life eternally...to whomever accepts His invitation. All are welcome, but not everyone comes. Perhaps someday, when this one is passed, I will meet this woman and we will experience the joy of reconciliation and relationship in the midst of our Savior. You can bet I'm praying for that. And I will pray for her birthmother, thanks and blessing upon her, all the days of her life. I owe her that much...for the part of her heart that is missing blesses me every day.